#thx im done now
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Just gonna gush over Jason Aalon Butler real quick. Letlive was literally amazing. Miss them so much. Any lyrics or concerts i’ve experienced from them & Jason have been amazing and I’ve been able to feel them. He and Letlive thoroughly captured the ‘making music/art because if i dont i will lose my mind’ thing that i adore so much. I remember back when I was working at venues, our staff was always vigilant when letlive was playing because we knew Jason was gonna go off every time. Literally he’s in my mental music hall of fame. Listen to his music.
#no i dont just think hes hot 😒#i genuinely think of him as an amazing lyricist and musician#and i appreciate his work#music#letlive#jason aalon butler#thx im done now
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im getting the sneaky suspicion that techs gonna be magically healed by the next episode but i want my little feller to suffer lol
#ok im done stewing over his injury now smile#my art#star wars#bad batch spoilers#tbb#bad batch#tbb tech#tech#you can tell i was bored as shit doing the bg#gotta make it interesting#btw anon yes i am dinking my watur thx for asking ^_^#hydrations important lads
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For the DTIYS by @ladylunora !!!
It was really fun, Thank you for the challenge!
#I haven't done lineart in Years and colouring is so difficult right now. Still not super happy with it.#I'll probably end up messing with it more but for now it's kinda gotta be done#I'll post alternatives when I'm less sleep deprived. Maybe#hlvrai#hlvrai gordon#hlvrai benrey#fan art#my art#first almost finished piece in A While#why r colours sp harrrrdddd#I may also have 2 other pieces and an animation that I definitely won't get done in time#or even anytime soon#but the dtiys has done something to me and im Inspired#benculavanfeetmanDTIYS#frenrey#half life vr but the ai is self aware#please look at the hands i tried so hard#but not too close. dont look at the mess pls and thx
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went to the best store on the planet aka barnes & noble yesterday with my heart set on shakespeare and had a crisis over whether i should get Fantasy Space Lesbian Necromancers or Man in Coma Loses Memory and Saves Human Race but with Real Physics (both of which i have yet to read but desperately want to) so of course i walked out with hamlet and the four swords manga *sighs in nerd*
#what makes it better is that i've already read the fs manga#but now i have my own#also YES im gonna annotate hamlet who do you think i am#but yeah i was deliberating between Gideon the Ninth and Project Hail Mary#but my public library has both of them (i think) so i can at least get them#im such a fucking nerd ok it's hilarious#but did you expect anything less i sure hope not#how to tag this hmmmmmmmm#zelda#chicken scratch#four swords#project hail mary#gideon the ninth#and we will leave it at that i think#imma go to bed now#plan is to finish ch17 edits (thx inthi) and summary the rest of the fic tmrw#will it get done? who fucking knows but im tired as all hell
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I'm just... so tired of needing to filter my words 500 times in my head before actually saying them in order to avoid giving off the wrong impression with my tone/wording, and then failing anyways. Even over text I need to rewrite things multiple rimes and use multiple different tonal indicators and it still comes out wrong!!! And then neurotypical people are just out there saying whatever and people understand what they mean every time! Its so exhausting just let me say things the way I mean them pls
#currently dealing with the rsd of someone misreading a silly little comment i made#and im probably misreading their tone too but its so hard to tell and i just wanna be done with that#hhhh brain... brain bad#i gotta get some sleep#pls dont read into anything i say its not that deep im just dumb and autistic#from now on just imagine me saying wverything with a flat tone and no expression ok thx#autism spectrum disorder#rejection sensitive dysphoria#rsd#neurodivergent#audhd#asd#autism#ahdjshsksj i just blocked someone bc i just. i cant deal with this rn#and i know itll probably just make me look like an asshole but at this point theyll probably think that regardless#and the whole ordeal is giving me a headache#but i wanted to say something just to get it out of my head#so i can fucking sleep#hhhhh
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BSD SPOILERS
Also GIRL WDYM sigma is still unconscious like WHAT ARE THEY GONNA DO NOW WITHOUT ANY INFO ON FYODOR?
i hope dazai or chuuya does not fucking die or something i cant do it again
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Dont be angry, Finnula said. Be smart.
#Chapter 23#Kingdom of Ash#Sarah J. Maas#Elide Lochan#Finnula#no spoilers pls first read along w me chapter spoilers in post & tags below w more annotations/quotes/notes/reacts/perspective 3 of 4#The City of Rivers… can Aelin get a City of Fire? cuz that would be cool & Elide already said “fear was another companion it can’t be worse#IT WAS LORCANS SHIRT😭 & he cared so much he lied so she’d use it from Gavriel/Rowan😭 OH ELORCAN😭😭😭#Yet this place seemed like a paradise. WHATS REAL? is it a Maeve illusion… but it sounds lovely; like Rowan could just fly around😭#Pink and blue flowers draped from windowsills; little canals wended between some of the streets ferrying people in bright long boats.#And though a good dose of fear would aid in her cover too much would spell her doom. -smart clever spy gal Annabeth Chase would be proud#And this city Rowan had told Elide had been built from stone to keep Brannon or any of his descendants from razing it to the ground.#when u know ur evil cuz you had to build in a backup plan for the day Brannons peeps eventually come to shut that shit down… my poor Aelin#Elide fought the limp that grew with each step farther into the city--farther away from Gavriel's magic… or Lorcan’s👀😭🖤🤨#okay Elide I see your mirror mirror Aos moves with the berry listen and compact trick she can do it with a broken heart#cycle. She hadn't been able to find the words anyway. Not with what it would crumple in her chest to even think them. WELL NOW IM CRUMPLED#As if she'd been weeping for weeks… yeah that fits the KoA vibes#But it wasn't the reflection she wanted to see. But rather the square behind her. — BRILLIANT QUEEN — lol thx Lorcan for having a mirror#if only anything could be a witch mirror then they could all cell chat and communicate cause the travel time in this one is rough#she was merely staring into a compact mirror no more than a self-conscious girl trying to fix her frazzled appearance — she is the best spy#A girl trying to muster some dignity. Let them see what they wanted to see-A girl far out of her element in this lovely well-dressed city#cornflower blue ALWAYS THESE SHADES#her golden-brown skin shone with an inner light. Her eyes were soft with kindness. And concern.#had always made them foolishly off guard and eager to get away. To tell her what she needed to know. — funny 2 watch Elide do this after HoF#The sort of voice Elide had always imagined great beauties possessing the sort of voice that made men fall all over themselves.#Cairn. One of the males swore; the other scanned Elide from head to toe. But the two females had gone still. — agreed he’s the worst#the portrait of hope—yeah child’s right cause no—Elide always naming people—If you escaped Cairn don't go looking for him again.—true#Cairn is blood-sworn to our queen. Still makes him a prick TRUTH — doesn’t need to be a far to catch the lie — WHERE IS SHE DAMNIT#She was about to do it again wheen… The dark-haired beauty from the tavern was standing behind her. — SHIT#Maeve was not in Doranelle. How long would that remain true? Had to make the next performance count. — how many had she done this already?🥹😭
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helsin are you gonna dress up for halloween?
"You again. Hey."
>They hum in thought to your inquiry for a moment before making a decision.
"Yeah. Wendy Torrence from The Shining."
#helsin mortis#byrdstrolls#asks from the crypt#and im drawing it right now and hope to be done before Halloween is over :)#thx robin :) sry it took me a minute to get to this one
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the worst feeling is violently wantign to animate one of the thousand things in your brain but knowing you Cannot Animate Shit and as soon as you start you will immediately give up
#raccoon's thoughts#hey god do me a favor n just. take me out thx#/j#anyways. im so done#im gonna go find some gl2 animations now. bye
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alright folks, meet my HyperBurgeon team:
Yaoyao: dendro sub-DPS/support 🍀
Xingqiu: hydro sub-DPS 💧
Beidou: electro sub-DPS 👾
Yanfei: pyro DPS ❤️🔥
PROS:
elemental reactions EVERYWHERE all the TIME it feels so good
one of every weapon type = go from exploring to combat instantly
Xingqiu, Beidou, and Yaoyao have skill/burst effects that last, amplifying the FUCK out of Yanfei's attacks
Yaoyao's bombs apply dendro, heal, AND do damage all at once. girl is the lynchpin of this whole operation
get those flashy 5-star characters outta here, we're a 4-star dream team baby!
CONS:
VERY disorienting play style
not intuitive. gotta memorize elemental reaction combos and figure out attack timing via trial and error
need to switch characters quickly and correctly to maximize damage. im still learning this part
TL;DR — time them right and a Yaoyao + hydro + electro + pyro team does UNPARALLELED CHAOS ✨🔪 also use your Fortuitous Invitation on Yaoyao this Lantern Rite bc she's a game-changer
#Genshin impact#yaoyao#Xingqiu#Beidou#yanfei#big thx to my buddies#nara#snarky#for helping me build a killer team around my gal Yaoyao bc u KNOW im still on my Yaoyao main bs!!! love her so much#and now that I understand character rotations for reaction purposes i can actually get shit done around here#<33333#snowgames#*taps megaphone* EVERYONE GET YAOYAO. SHE'S SO MUCH FUN AND SO SO USEFUL
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feels fucking great when people do something without you. especially something you have been wanting to do for over a YEAR but its so fucking hard to get a full team of people for this because yeah i get it its one of the hardest achievements in the game but then they just fucking do it on a whim out of nowhere with some new guys like. i have. been wanting to do this. for more than a Year. and no one. was ever. down.
#river.txt#thx a lot#now i have to look at all of them having that stupid fucking title while im just here like#hi#btw i wanted to do this#for so long#thx for promising we would do this together one day and then u just went and did it with some random ass new people :)#yeah i feel great i feel fine why do you ask#guess i can say goodbye to that fucking title#because its IMPOSSIBLE just to get people for a normal raid#much less a flawless run#so i already know i wont ever get this done now that they all got it done#the thing is ppl always post an event on the server so others can sign up right#well they didnt even make an event for this lol i have no idea when did they do it#when i noticed the titles i was like wait what how come u all have it#and my friend was like oh we got it done the other day#like. cool. nice. thanks again.
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thank you!!
OOC: NOTE THINGY
20 Notes and ill tell my parents i want psychological help again
100 Notes and ill study ahead in french
200 Notes and ill study ahead in maths(god no)
700 Notes and ill study the whole next theme for the rest of this year for history
1000 Notes and ill actually take care of myself
1500 Notes and ill do own brain studies n stuff
2000 Notes and ill actually do the damn thing ive been trying to do
EDIT1: i forgot to add rules.... maryland pls only like an eight of the postlimit max (this includes all ur blogs) everyone else free tho
#was burned out before#im doing great now tho#ur not seeming condescending dw#im taking things slow dwdw#i wouldnt have done this if i wouldnt have trusted myself#and it says a lot that im trusting myself now#cuz i wouldnt have these past five/six years#cuz i was like#since i was like eight#sorry if that seemed like a vent#wasnt supposed to#thx u
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first kiss?! . wind breaker
kissing ur man for the first time..
featuring : sakura haruka, hayato suou, umemiya hajime
cw : kiss kiss, fluff, gn!reader, bad grammar sorry, reader talks abt lip gloss(suou) but doesnt mean theyre fem i guess???
a/n : wow i procrastinate alot im so sorry anon ily thx for this request:3
SAKURA HARUKA
you sit besides a sick sakura, with food and medicines in your hand. you look down at him with a concerned face. from what suou told you, sakura had gotten sick after the fight with keel though, the fight isn't what made him sick. "you shouldn't push yourself too much, you know?" you pout at him while helping him to sit up to eat the food you brought.
"i know. but, i'm the grade captain so.." you punch him in the head(lovingly). "what do you-!" he looks at you with a glare but then widened his eyes after he realized that you were on the verge of tears. "i'm worried sick waiting for you, you know?" you clenched your fist really hard and you look at sakura with a pout on your face, which makes him froze in his place.
he wiped off your tears and stare at your face for a while. when you were about to open your mouth again to scold him, he brings your face closer to his and give you a quick kiss. "sorry, for..making you worried." silence fills the room as you stare at sakura who's slowly realizing what he had just done, and how red his face is right now.
HAYATO SUOU
"suou, which one looks better on me?" you point your finger at two pink lip gloss while looking at suou, asking him to choose for you. "hm, if you're asking me then i'd have to say both looks good on you." he smiles at you. "well..which color looks best on me?"
"what are these lip products even for?" he asked you a question that made you chuckle. suou reminds you of an old man who won't stop asking about everything. "it's to make my lips look prettier and kissable, of course." hearing the word 'kissable' made him interested, so he chose one of the lip gloss and buys it for you.
after paying for the lip gloss, he told you to try it. "right here? like, infront of the store?" you looked at him with questioning eyes, and he just nods. "yeah, right here." so you did as he said and put the lip gloss on your lips. "hmm, what do you think? does it look pr—" suou grabs you by the waist swiftly and pulled you into a kiss, which makes your eyes widen.
"hm, even without the lip gloss, your lips are already kissable anyway."
UMEMIYA HAJIME
"name, look! this plant is growing already!"
umemiya jumps in his place like a toddler, which makes you chuckle. "that's nice to know." after that, he runs to another plant and say the exact same thing. of course, you're not tired of it. it's your man enjoying the stuff he likes, so you support it.
but right now, you're trying to do your assignments and he won't stop asking you to look at his plants. so you stood up from your place and approached him. "oh? are you finally done with your assignments?" he asked you a question, but you didn't answer. instead, you tiptoed to his height and held his cheeks in your arms, which makes him tilt his head to the side. before he opened his mouth to ask you a question, you kissed him. "sorry, but i'm trying to do my assigments here." after you pulled back, he chuckles.
"if this is your way to tell me to shut up, then i might talk a lot more."
naomi-nana. do NOT repost, do not use,(with or without permission), do not reccommend or talk about my works outside of tumblr.
#nao.writes#wind breaker#wind breaker (nii satoru)#wind breaker x reader#wind breaker x you#wind breaker fanfic#wind breaker fluff#sakura haruka x reader#sakura haruka x you#sakura haruka fanfic#sakura haruka fluff#hayato suou x reader#hayato suou x you#hayato suou fanfic#hayato suou fluff#umemiya hajime x reader#umemiya hajime x you#umemiya hajime fanfic#umemiya hajime fluff#sakura haruka#hayato suou#umemiya hajime
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"Much Needed Release"
TW: tom being pussymuncher69, pussy eating, clit stimulation, minor profanity, some angst in the beginning, head (fem rec obviously), praise, some overstimulation, somnophilia
Request: older Tom X younger petite reader. reader had a bad day and Tom was tired of hearing abt how bad she was being treated. when r (reader) went upstairs for a nap, Tom woke her up with his face in between her thighs. He makes r cum A TON! Yea. Thx baeee!
IM ACK 😚😚`😚😚😦😦😦 NON T DEAD
Rating: under 15 dni!! explicit situations lie ahead!!
"I hate weekdays"
You complained to tom the minute you walked through the door, tired and spent from the hellish day you had just went through. It just wouldn't stop! The terrible treatment from certain co-workers, and even your boss was unbearable, to say the least.
Each day, you always came home, your mood miserable, and tom wanted to fix it. He was honestly getting a little bit annoyed at how every day at your officeplace was going. Why were your co-workers so rude towards you? Hell, why was even your boss so rude? He was sure you hadn't done anything to warrant the treatment. You were sweeter than anyone he had ever met, and it took a lot to get you angry or upset.
He wanted to help you out and give you a break from the tough week, but how so? You would surely fall asleep during a movie or an activity where you both just sat on the couch together, so how could he possibly help? He didn't notice you were no longer in the living room until he snapped out of his thoughts, and he knew you were taking a nap. He could try to..no.
That would be wrong, and quite frankly, disgusting, unless...
Tom made his way to the bedroom, seeing you napping on his pillow, your body covered by the duvet. Quietly closing the door behind him, he padded over to the mattress where you slept, picking the covers off. His eyes widened just a bit at seeing your underwear the only thing that you were wearing, and his cock twitched in his pants, slowing coming to life. His lips parted a bit, his tongue swiping over his bottom one as he gazed over your sleeping frame, drinking you in fully.
The more he looked, the more turned on he became, his member now straining almost painfully against the restraint of his pants. He pulled the covers over himself, stripping you of your remaining clothes, throwing them to the side; your precious cunt now exposed.
He groaned a little at the sight, placing a gentle lick on your clit before delving into your pussy. His hands held your hips down as you squirmed every now and then in your sleep, letting out little whines as well. He closed his eyes, lapping up and down your core, ravishing your taste on his tongue.
"so fucking sweet" he murmured, his tongue flicking up and down your little bud occasionally, working wonders on you. More moans and other small noises escaped you, slowly coming to from your sleep. Tom didn't see your eyes opening up as he continued to bury his face into your pussy, now sucking tastefully on your clit. You let out a loud moan, your vision no longer blurry. Your legs wrapped around tom's head, squeezing just a bit. You didn't have any time to adjust, your body overcome with pleasure.
Breathing in slowly, you met eyes with tom, who looked up at you with a grin, his beard glistening with your juices. "w-what are you doing?" You questioned, pulling yourself upright with your elbows. "Well" he started, giving another small lick to your core, before going back to speaking. "You had a rough day, so I wanted to make it better. Just sit and relax and let me please you, okay baby? I'll make it worth your while"
You laid back down with a sigh, enjoying the feeling of tom's tongue lapping insistently at your pussy. The tongue was a very wet and strong organ, and having tom's on your core? Fucking heaven. Your legs squeezed his head again, not too rough to cut off air supply, just enough to let him know how good you were feeling. "You like that baby? My tongue on this pretty little pussy?" He smirked. You nodded, giving another small whimper. Your hips bucked up against his mouth, already giving way to your orgasm. "To-tom"
Many, many, many, delicious orgasms later, and now you and tom were snuggled up together in bed, his hand stroking your hair softly. After being so spent from simply his tongue, he was calming you down and letting you go back to sleep, no more tricks up his sleeve for the rest of the night. He was going to let you get some much needed rest, and he'd try to convince you to stay home tomorrow so you could regroup and hopefully ease up from all of the tension your work was putting on you. But that was for tomorrow, right now, it was just about you and him, snuggled up together, happy and content.
also sorry jordan if this isn't what you wanted pookie lmk if you want some diff and i'll try to fix it 😋😋😋
#alaiahsideblog#tokio hotel#tokio hotel x reader#tokio hotel x you#to#tom kaulitz smut#tom kaulitz angst#tom kaulitz x you#tom kaulitz x reader#tom kaulitz imagines#tokio hotel fanfic#tokio hotel smut#tokio hotel x y/n
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agh adding onto this .
this is for my own comfort sighs i know it might be seen as silly by some but personally i cannot support mutuals / friends going 'idc abt what this creator does' because . it’s not just 'idc' you shouldn’t just say that- it’s abt topics which are super serious and triggering to some and some characters are based off of bad people and- :( pls don’t come at me for that is all i ask LMAO it’s a boundary and it’s my opinion . i just wanna have a great time on here man
hiii due to recent events i would like to say that if you support or if you’re neutral abt 'vivziepop' and her shows please don’t interact with me .
there’s stuff in the tags too i just don’t wanna make this post endlessly long .
#ok im done now sorry#just block me and move on and . idk don’t interact if u fit into my dni pls and thx :(#୧ ‧₊˚ ���� ⋅ ☆; buck.txt
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loml
⤷ mcu!peter parker x artsy!reader
𝜗𝜚. . . synopsis. you are both peter's love and loss of his life
𝜗𝜚. . . general tag. mostly fluff & some angst
.ᐟ. . . content warnings. if you see any grammar mistakes, keep them to yourself pls thx<3 might be cringe tbh
♫⋆。 our field of dreams, engulfed in fire your arson's match your somber eyes and i'll still see it until i die, you're the loss of my life
⋆౨ৎ˚⟡˖ ࣪ sophia's letter ! i wrote this as it's raining and can you guess what scented candle i have lighting? 😝 anyway i went through a depressive episode for no reason so i took a hiatus, but i might be back for the summer. i often go through another one when school starts so im gonna do the most now. i was thinking of making a part two for this using 'peter' but idk. anyway, HIIII NEW GRACIE ALBUM THIS WEEK RAGHH
prequel
wc. 1,926
spring had just began, more warm days after months of freezing cold weather. today, however, seemed to be one of the few cold, rainy days february had left. you had finished homework earlier today, always wanting to have your weekends free as much as you can, so you decided to occupy your mind with something else more calming.
after finishing the last of your ap psychology assignment, you walked to your kitchen and made yourself a quick matcha. as you measured the green powder into your cat mug - a lovely gift peter got you because one of the cats in the bug is a calico, like your own cat - a thud was heard from your room. it was followed by an 'ow' quickly after, causing a small smile to form on your lips.
peter.
at the sudden noice, autumn, your calico cat, run cautiously out of your room. after finishing your matcha with some creamer, you also walked to your room.
peter looked towards the door upon sensing you. his spidey sense usually only triggered when danger was near, however, when it came to you, peter was able to feel you. he couldn't describe it, but there was something in you that made him feel safe. it was a warm feeling that ran down his spine, and maybe it was because he was in your room, but he could also smell the vanilla lotion you love to use. everything about you made him feel like he was engulfed by a soft blanket.
so it was no surprise that the first thing peter did was offer you a smile. you automatically smile back of course. how could you not when he looks at you like that, like he was going to somehow bring you the moon he often photographed because it made him think of you.
'it's raining,' peter pointed with a boyish grin. the obvious pitter patter coming from your windows made you tilt your head playfully. 'you don't say.'
peter patrolled the streets of new york everyday as his alter ego, spider-man. but on days like this, he likes to use the weather as an excuse to come see you earlier instead. he has a build in heater in his suit of course, but in his opinion it doesn't work as well as a good cuddling season with you.
peter sets his masks down on your night stand. 'cuddles?'
you took a sip of your matcha as you walked to your desk. 'i have to work on my portfolio.' you heard him walk to your dresser that sat on the corner of your room where you had a drawer with his clothes to change to after patrol. 'i thought you were done with it?'
'yea, it's just,' your fingers glossed over your sketches. junior year was ending and soon college applications will start. it had been your dream to attend the art school of chicago, and now that applications are around the corner, you want to make sure everything is perfect. 'it doesn't feel complete.'
once peter was out of his wet suit and into his favorite pair of bright pink hello kitty pants matched with a plain white tee, he sneaked his arms around you, taking your comforting scent in. you felt him place a kiss in your hair, 'i think it's perfect.'
you turn to look at him with an unimpressed expression. his smile widens and he can't fight the urge to kiss you any longer. peter gently presses his lips into yours. he's always been delicate with his kisses, especially after being spider-man. you knew it was his way to ground himself after a day of fighting criminals, so you let him be as soft as he needed.
you loved it that way. you loved him that way.
peter pulls away first. 'i have some photos i took last week. you could draw some if you need.'
peter's hobby went hand in hand with your art. thanks to being spider-man, he was able to take some shots of new york no one else would be able to obtain, and he often let you sketch them, so often that half of his storage is pictures he takes for you to draw. the other half is probably of you.
you hum in agreement, still looking into peter's eyes. you have never loved brown as much as you do now.
'tomorrow.' peter took your mug in one hand, then used the other to hold your hand while he drag you over to bed. 'today, we cuddle.' he set your bug on the night stand.
you smile. 'okay.'
you two settled under your warm covers with you closest to your mug incase you want a sip, but before you could find a comfortable position, peter stood up, muttering a quick 'wait!'.
you frown, but understood what he was doing when he pulled a lighter from your drawer in the night stand. he lit up the candle that rested on top. apple pumpkin. you bought a few pumpkin scented candles last fall, and peter grew to love this specific one. he wasn't a fan of scented candles because of his enhanced smell, but this one was subtle enough for him to enjoy without getting a headache.
once peter returned to bed, he wrapped his arms around your waist with his head on your chest. he slightly tilted his head to plant a kiss into your skin. 'i love you.'
his whispered confession filled you with butterflies. you don't know what you did to be lucky enough to love this boy in your arms, let alone be loved back by him. one of your hands wrapped around his back, while the other caressed his check, slightly squishing his face. his chuckles echoed in the room along the rain when you started kissing his face.
two kisses on his right check, two more on the left, three on his forehead, and one on the bridge of his nose.
'i love you more.'
a bright smile stayed on peter's face as he shook his head. 'that's not possible.' your smile matched his, 'i think it is. no, i know it is.'
'i love you most.' before you could disagree, you felt his hands sneak under your shirt, cutting you off by tickling your sides. you squeak in surprise and try to squirm away. your laughter fills peter's ears, 'okay! i can't breathe!'
peter paused his movements and you inhale to suggest, 'we both love each other equally.'
peter makes a thinking face. 'i'll let you have this win,' he rolled his eyes playfully before settling in your arms again.
the two of you stayed intertwined in bed until you felt peter's breathing slow down, indicating he had fallen asleep. his weight was on your side now, but looking down at him you decided you wanted to engrave this moment forever.
swiftly, you reached for the small sketchbook you keep on your night stand. thankfully, you had left a pencil there too. you sat up slightly, making sure not to disturb peter's slumber. his arms tighten around you making you freeze, but the light snores coming from peter tell you he is still deep in his sleep.
you find a clean page and begin drawing shapes until you like how they all sit together. you move to the face proportions, not focusing on shading yet. your hand makes the hair part look effortless, and it may be from the many times you've drawn these curls. moving back to the face, you use your finger to blend the lines better.
finishing the rough draft, your focus goes to the nose, moving to the freckles you have memorized.
'stalker.'
peter's deep voice caused a blush to creep into your cheeks. it wasn't the first time peter caught you drawing him, he has seen the many sketches and paintings you've done of him, but you still shy way when his eyes follow every detail of him you've embedded into your mind.
if only you knew peter feels the same. to know the person he loves more than anything has memorized him, his body and soul, fills him with an indescribable feeling. he does the same with his camera. most of his photos are moments you've shared together that he wants to remember forever.
peter not having storage on his phone from all the candid pictures he has of you is his version of when you learned to draw the lines that form around his eyes when he smiles.
'shut up,' you nudge your leg against his. there's smiles on both of your faces as peter snuggles closer to you.
the room is rather dark by now, only the candle peter had previously lit and another lamp you always have create a cozy atmosphere. the warm glow of the lamp reaches your features enough for peter to see and he takes his time to draw his own painting of you in his mind.
the flickering flame of the candle mixing with the apple pumpkin scent ignite a perfect portrait of peter you ache to fabricate, you take a mental picture for later.
you could be here with peter for all time.
neither of you knew that it was only momentary.
peter climbed through the window, a plastic bag in hand. he pulled his mask off, wet hair falling over his eyes.
the loud thunder from outside shook his apartment. it started raining earlier that day, so peter decided to cut his patrolling short. he hadn't done it in a while.
his body was freezing from the harsh wind that he old suit would have kept him warm from. he walked towards a basket full of his clothes that sat in a corner, that was his dresser for the time being, and grabbed a gray shirt.
when peter picked up the shirt, he caught a glimpse of what once were a bright magenta hello kitty bottoms, is now a dull shade of pink. with a sinking feeling, peter decided to put them on as well.
he made it to his twin size bed where he left the bag and took out the single purchase he made.
a small scented candle. apple pumpkin.
once lit, he set it on the small dining table his studio apartment came with. he stared at it until the soft scent filled his nose. his throat closes when memories of you that are still imprinted in his mind come back. peter feels his left eye twitch as tears threaten to spill, but he refuses to cry.
he can't afford a breakdown. he has no one to turn to anymore. peter doesn't know if he can pick himself back up if he breaks. it was easier with tony because he had may and friends who cared about him. but especially because he had you.
now may is gone, he's a stranger to his friends, and every detail of peter you had memorized has been erased.
peter turns back to his bed and pulls the covers to get in. he continues to stare at the flame emotionless, slowly dissociating from his lonesome.
even after everything, peter can't comprehend how you could go from perfectly drawing the creases on his lips without a reference to not even remembering his name.
do you still have those pieces of him?
do you still draw him even now like it is muscle memory?
is he in your dreams like you are in his?
you will continue to occupy peter's mind until the day being spider-man finally kills him. you were his deepest love, and now his greatest loss.
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